If you're currently Grieving, then it's likely you know someone else who is too.

While it may be difficult to manage your own Grief, it may be even more difficult to help someone else in need.

Since Grief is a personal journey, you may not know what to do or say; however, certain things are more helpful than others.

Ways to support another Grieving person include, but are not limited to:

Understand Grief

• There is no right or wrong way to Grieve; everyone Grieves differently


• Therefore, do not tell someone what they should or should not be feeling or doing, unless it's dangerous behavior to themselves or others


• There is no "normal" time period for someone to Grieve; as much time should be taken, regardless if months or years, so long as it does negatively impact daily life

How and What to Say

• Knowing how to speak to a Grieving person can be challenging because you don't want to say the wrong thing; often it's best to listen compassionately and take cues from them, this will inform how to speak about the death and their feelings


• Let the bereaved talk about their loss; they may feel the need to repeat their story as a way to process and accept the death; be present and patient and know that even listening itself helps them heal


• Don't force someone to speak if they're not interested, but let them know that you're willing to talk if needed; simply asking if they want to is a good way to judge interest


• It's best to speak directly and candidly about the deceased and acknowledge the situation; there's no need steer away from the subject if the conversation begins


• Because everyone experiences Grief differently, empathize with them, but don't claim to "know" what they're going through or compare your own experience to tHeirs; ask about their feelings and let them know that it's okay to express their emotions however they may need without judgment, whether it's sadness or anger


• Rather than minimizing the death by suggesting that they'll "get over it" or that it was "for the best," express sorrow and take time to listen; if you don't know what to say, then it's ok to admit that and instead remind them that you care and are there to listen


• If you feel that they are struggling, encourage professional help; see more information about mental health professionals in the mental health checklist section

Provide Helpful Support

• If you're unsure of what to say, or have trouble providing emotional guidance, offering practical, everyday support is a sincere, productive way to help; it may help reduce the burden of everyday life so they can focus on managing their feelings


• Those who deal with Grief may have trouble asking for help for fear of burdening others, or are too overwhelmed to reach out; ask what you can do or provide proactively


• Offer to help with a specific task related to the Funeral, everyday errands, or just be there as a shoulder to cry on


• Examples of helpful support include but are not limited to: babysitting, cooking, pet care, housework, helping with Funeral Service or tasks related to the Estate, or participate in a enjoyable activity


• Recovery from Grief takes time so it's possible that you may need continue support for many months; proactively stay in touch with a periodic call or an in-person visit can be extremely valuable, especially on special days which may require extra support, such as holidays, birthdays and anniversaries

Identify Warning Signs

• It's normal for Grief and its emotional aftermath to take a toll on a Bereaved person, causing depression, confusion and disconnection


• However, if these feelings do not eventually fade, get worse over time, or manifest in dangerous ways that cause self-harm, or harm to others, then it may be a sign that more serious support is needed


• Symptoms include, but are not limited to, difficulty with daily functions, neglect of hygiene, substance abuse, inability to feel joy, hyper focus on the death, disconnection and withdrawn from others, talk of suicide


• In these moments, encourage them to seek professional help; see more information about mental health professionals in the mental health checklist section


• Discussing these issues with the bereaved can be challenging; rather than trying to tell them what to do, it may help to say how you feel about their behavior (ex: "I'm worried that you are not sleeping, perhaps you should look for help")

See the below links for more information about how to help a Grieving person.